MY STORY / DISORDERED EATING / WEIGHT LOSS / WEIGHT GAIN / BINGE EATING

hi guys welcome back to my channel myname is Amy I am a registered holistic nutritionist and today I want to chatall about my story with disordered eating and binge eating I feel like thisis something that I really want to go I want to talk more about this in mychannel because this is something that really shaped and developed me into theperson that I am today and even though this was a really tough time in my lifelike it was really hard I went through a lot of ups and downs with it I do feellike this is what ignited and sparked my passion into health and wellness and soI don't think I'd change anything because I am grateful for this experience and Ithink it just taught me so much just as a little disclaimer hereI was never diagnosed by a doctor for having been cheating or having an eatingdisorder so I do want to make that very clear however I do feel like my habitsand what I was going through do reflect binge eating and having disorderedeating so please make sure to take this at the grain of salt this is simply mystory and I just feel like I want to share this with you not only so it makesmore sense if I share this stuff in the future but also because I know I'm notthe only one and I know that a video like this would have helped me so muchlike 10 years ago and so I just want to put thisinformation out there in all honesty this is like this next time that I filmthis video it's like either the filming isn't right or I just stumble on mywords and it's really personal I'm not someone who's like a really personallike I don't share things that are really personal that easily but I thinkthat this is worth sharing so with that being said let's just get into my storyso to give you a little context I live in Vancouver Canada now however when Iwas born I was born actually in Australia Brisbane Australia and I movedto Vancouver when I was 10 years old so that just – let me give you a littlebit of context it really doesn't make a difference in the story but just to getyou understanding where I'm from so growing up I was always a fairly healthychild I was active I danced a lot I was in ballet tap and jazz and I absolutelyloved it it's an outlet I have lots of friends growing up Icame from a household where we ate you don't like the standard meals where youhave like your veg and you're like carb and have your protein and I was allowedtreats from time to time my mum definitely was on the healthier end andso she would sneak flax seeds into my cookies so my mom was like very muchpromoting health but we were allowed to have treats real loud to have Tim Tamsthat was kind of my childhood I didn't really think too much about my weight Iwas an average weight for my childhood and I was healthy and happy I would sayit wasn't until middle school that I started becoming more aware of my weightso because my mom was always kind of the one feeding me before I was alwayspretty healthy but when I started to become 1213 getting into my teenageyears I started being more in control of what I was eating and because of that Iwas like well why would I eat broccoli when I can have like chocolate and chipsand mac and cheese so I ate a lot less healthy and becauseof that I had no energy I was feeling sluggish I put on a little bit of weightand I just wasn't feeling really comfortable in my body and this kind ofcarried me through the next couple years going into high school um I found highschool quite tough in all honesty I didn't have a really close-knit group offriends because of this I felt very out of control and I had a little bit ofextra weight on me nothing by any means where I was like overweight but I justdidn't feel comfortable in my body which I think as a teenager is a really normalthing you're going through hormonal changes as a girl you're developing intoa woman so of course your body is gonna change like I feel like that just makessense I felt very out of control at 15 so thiswould have been grade 10 and grade 10 was when I decided I was like you knowwhat I feel lost I don't really enjoy what I'm doing right now with school orI don't really have very very many hobbies I'm going to learn about healthand wellness and I want to change my body I think learning about healthnutrition and it came from such an innocent and honest place and I I trulydid want to know and learn what was best for my body but I just took it to anextreme I'm a very all-or-nothing personif I'm doing something I'm doing it 100% um and so for me I was like well I'mgoing to completely flip the switch and I'm going to start eating healthy so itwas small changes at first so I went from having maybe chocolate chip cookiesto having pumpkin scones because in my head it was like well pumpkin sconeshave pumpkin and them so they must be healthy and then that turned into mecutting out all sugar and then slowly I cut out all grains and then all of asudden slowly but surely I started to become confined with these food rulesand what turned into me being innocent and me really trying to do the best formy body it turned really fast into an obsession so I remember I would wake upand I would oh we're remembering this now my first little blip and to exercisewas doing DDR I don't know if you guys remember that Dance Dance Revolution butI actually had a mat at home and every single morning I would wake up at 6 a.

m.

before school and I would do DDR for an hour which like it's a good workout likeI feel like I want to get one of those machines again so I'm wake up I do myDVR which then turn into the elliptical in the morning I would barely eat allday when I did eat it was really low-calorie things so like low calorieyogurt with blueberries I would have salads with not much on them no oil itwould be like a balsamic vinegar dressing I ate a lot of carrots and alot of pumpkin so much so that I actually started to turn orange that canhappen that's a thing and I was obsessed with counting calories I'm not gonna saywhat I got down to but I did lose about 30 pounds during this time which comingfrom someone who didn't really have much weight if any to lose wasn't thehealthiest um I lost my period I was obsessed with everything health andwellness if I did get invited to go out and hang out with friends I woulddecline because I'd be so concerned that I would have to be forced to eatsomething and I just didn't want to and I remember my turning point was my momand I actually went to New York for a vacation and I was barely eatinganything and my mom got really concerned and shekind of confronted me on it after the trip and it was just a little turningpoint I needed someone to kind of shake me and be like this is not healthy feellike thinking about this like it makes me really sad because I oh not a goodtime I used to after school instead of hanging out with my friends or insteadof doing something after school I would go on my elliptical machine and I wouldwatch diners drive-ins and dives and I would fantasize about eating that foodbecause I wasn't allowing myself to and it would be like this like weird thingof like self torture so I'd be like watching him make these like big burgersand I'd be like drooling wall exercising and then I'd go and have my roastedveggies with no oil so I did get to an unhealthy weight for my body and I thinkthat is clear by the fact that I was tired all the timeI lost my period I had no energy I just it just wasn't a comfortable place formy body to be at but when my mum confronted me in New York after that wasalmost like a wake-up call and I was like I can't do this foreverI'm going to end up in hospital or even worse I'm gonna do some seriouspermanent damage to my body and so from there I started eating more but here'sthe thing when you start your body for about a year it doesn't just want to goback to eating normally and that's just it it's like my body was crying out forfood and so I started having these uncontrollable binges every single nightand I just really want to make this clear binging is not having a whole pintof ice cream to yourself by accident one night because it was fun like that's notbinging from my perspective binging for me is it means like eating 5 to 6, 000calories feeling completely lost out of control I binge on actually fairlyhealthy food i binge la on sweet potatoes and dates and nut butter andlike really dense but healthy foods but I would just eat so much of it Iremember I it became this vicious cycle because I would binge at night and Icould barely fall asleep because I had so much sugar so I'd be I couldn't fallasleep I've had him some Mia so then I would get like 2 to 3 hours of sleep Iwake up so bloated in so much pain the amount of pain that I felt for those sixmonths when I was binging was insane I would be always on the couch just like azombie after school so I would wake up nutty and anything so I was so full fromthe binge night before and then in the afternoon I'd start eating and I waslike okay I'm not gonna binge and then it just spiraled and I just binge allthroughout the night laid on the couch maybe got to bed at like 2:00 3:00 inthe morning and then started all over again from January 2011 to the summer of2011 so this is my grade 11 year I ended up gaining about 40 pounds within thosesix months and that thing not I don't know how that seems that for me it wasvery overwhelming getting that much weight at that age especially whenyou're feeling so judged by all of your school friends it was intense and youhave to remember as well but this kind of weight gain is like you're feelingbloated you're feeling lethargic your digestion so off your my skin was offand everything just was like felt out of control yet again I remember my momjokes around she's like I wish I could have just burned this red jacket I woreit nothing but this red jacket and black leggings for six months because I wastrying to hide my weight gain I was trying to hide my body and I just feltso uncomfortable in my own skin and then the summer going in to grade 12 Irealized I was like well I've done this to myself this is nobody else's fault ofmine and I actually discovered the tone it up girlsthe karena and Katrina if you're in if you're like into Laci Phillips they werea huge expander for me so what that essentially means is I saw them I sawwhere they were and I saw that they were where I wanted to be they were healthythey were fit but they had balance and they had a social life and they enjoyedthemselves and rather than taking you away from their life it seemed likehealth and wellness added to it and that was what I was always after is Iwholeheartedly believe that if – is taking over your life and consumingit that's not health and wellness so going into grade 12 I started to justeat more balanced and naturally my body hit more of a setpoint weight it wasn'twhere I was before where I was really thin but it wasn't at the point rightafter all of my binging where I was just feeling bloated and just reallylethargic my body kind of naturally over that year went to a more happy weightthen my first couple years in college I was definitely a lot more balanced I wasstill learning I still counted my calories sometimes I spent three monthsin Zambia when I turned 18 which I think was really game-changing for me it gaveme a lot of perspective it really put everything into perspective I had lesscontrol over what I could and couldn't eat obviously and I think that was areally great experience for me that showed me that there was so much more tolife than just health wellness exercise nutrition in college I was starting tostudy to become a dietician not really the path that I'm in now that it kind ofI was kind of dipping my toe into nutrition and I was trying so hard tolearn the right way for me so in 2015 I went plant-based at first to be honestit wasn't the healthiest way that I did it but over the years I've definitelydeveloped a way more healthier mindset with it and I feel like I have a reallybalanced Eilidh diet now 2017 so I was about 28 to 23 at the time I begangetting interested in holistic nutrition I started working at a Juicery indowntown Vancouver I moved downtown from the suburbs I started going to schoolfor holistic nutrition at the Canadian School of natural nutrition and I justsaw this whole other way of looking at health and wellness and rather than justbeing the foods that you put into your body and what you do for exercise it wasshowing that there is so much more than thatthere is the mindset there's spirituality there's your emotions andit showed me that health and wellness is all encompassing and not just caloriesand calories out and then since then I no longer work about g-3 but I work as abartender kind of part-time not right now with everything going on in theworld but that was kind of usually my job on the side and now I'm reallypassionate about sharing health wellness balance nutrition on my Instagram on myYouTube channel and that's where I really want to put my focus into I wantto share that this was not an overnight journey I didn't wake up one day and Iwas like oh I just want to be balanced with health and wellness for me it waslike a really tough journey to get here but it gives me so much moreappreciation and I think I understand the reason and the why behind why I'mdoing what I'm doing now so yeah if you watch some my other youtube videosyou'll see that I do make a lot of whole food plant-based recipes but then I'vealso shared I enjoy my red wine from time to time and I'm like in love withsalted caramel ice cream so for me now it doesn't completely consume my lifethe way that it used to I really enjoy eating wholesome nourishing recipes thatmake me feel my best but then I love going out with friends and I havehobbies and I feel like it's I feel like having it being a part of your liferather than your entire life is the big key and I feel like that is my storyI'm sure there's parts of it that I skimmed over just for times sake Ididn't want to make this like an hour-long video um if you have anyquestions or anything please leave them in the comments below or feel free to DMme on Instagram I am very active on there as well if you like this videoplease make sure to give it a thumbs up and to subscribe because that reallydoes support my channel and if you want to get notified each time I do a videojust turn on the Bell notifications I do videos every single week on healthwellness and nutrition so with that being said I hope you all have anamazing week and I will see you all next Friday.

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